Flash Friday – Kill Shot

I’m turning this in a little late, but hey, there are things called Time Zones, so even if it’s not Friday, many of you are still asleep and not yet wakened to your Saturday morning, so I’m sneaking it in. 😉

Madison Woods has again given us a challenging picture for this weeks 100 word flash for Friday Fictioneers. To see what she and others were inspired to write, just click the link.

 

This week’s picture prompt:

My entry: Kill Shot. 100 words.

********************

A twig snapped under her boot, cracking into the distance. Amanda froze.

Distant voices, coming closer, “This way! Over here!”

Amanda ran.

The first shot came from behind, hitting her right shoulder, spinning her around with surprising force. The second shot hit square in the chest, She stumbled back, falling to the ground.

They surrounded her. “Kill shot!”

She glanced down at the bright blue paint.

“Game over.”  Josh reached down to help her up.

Amanda couldn’t lift her arm. Hot pain stabbed. “I think I may have broken something.”

A dark red stain spread out from under her shoulder.

********************

 

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43 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Madison Woods on March 27, 2012 at 22:06

    The fact that it struck her with such unexpected force in the shoulder does sound like a real bullet and that little detail was a great one to include. A paintball would hurt but wouldn’t likely spin her around like that. Great story! And yes, I’d like to hear another installment this week 🙂

    Reply

    • Thank you Madison. As for installment, no promises. These drabbles are exercises for me, to keep my mind creative, but I don’t really have a goal of developing anything with them. One never knows, of course… Thanks for visiting, and again, for hosting.

      Reply

  2. Whoa… I totally thought she was being hunted. You painted this picture so clearly and just took us twisting and turning through it. Fantastic work — and I would say it’s complex, albeit in a different, far more concrete (and doubly interesting) way than mine.

    Reply

    • Yes, I guess mine is more concrete, where as yours is more psychological – but then I love psychological elements in fiction so I’d say interest is in the eye of the reader. 😉 Thanks so much for the comment, I appreciate it.

      Reply

  3. Beautifully twisty, and the title suggests to me that shoulder is more serious than she first thinks!

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/friday-fictioneers-the-crater/

    Reply

  4. This is a great story! Red paint and a fall? Or did someone use a bullet? Love it!

    Reply

    • It can be whatever you wish it to be. That’s the fun of these short fiction pieces. Thanks for dropping b! 🙂

      Reply

  5. Posted by Russell on March 26, 2012 at 15:06

    You kept us on a roller coaster with this tale. Well done.

    Thanks for the nice comments on mine.

    http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/

    Reply

  6. Sounds like a professional hit by a master marksman (or markswoman, who knows?), judging my the timing of the shot and how it coincides with the “harmless” paintball hit.
    Very, very good.

    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/fridayfictioneers-crimson-sunset/

    Reply

  7. Very well written, with lots of tension and terror combined. Yes, we do not know who shot her with the real bullet. Maybe the “Kill Shot” saved her life!
    Fun to leave us wondering. A little cruel too…

    Reply

    • Well, cruel is part of these 100 word flashes, there are so many I’d like to hear more about. 🙂 Thanks for commenting.

      Reply

  8. Very well done. I enjoyed your twist on this prompt! Nice work.

    Reply

  9. I love this and the last line, “A dark red stain spread out from under her shoulder.” Nice!

    Reply

  10. A double “whoa”. If it’s just a game of paintball, why would one shoot Amanda with a real bullet in the first place? Did someone misfired? Is it a stray bullet? Is the suspect a paintball player or just a hunter in the woods? Is there someone trying to kill her? I love mystery stories and you succeeded making one in this very brief flash fiction (that sounds redundant). A great post.

    Cheers from the Philippines,

    Allen

    Reply

  11. […] Fictioneers Madison Woods gave us yet another challenging photo prompt, which resulted in my tale Kill Shot.  Last, but not least, I managed to complete Jenny Matlock’s Saturday Centus on the weekend […]

    Reply

  12. This was really good. At first I just assumed it was a paint-ball exercise gone wrong but when I read it again it opened up even further. You’ve done well with this one. I started thinking about her catching the cold eyes of one of the group, the one that had used real bullets …

    Nice one, well done. Thanks for visiting mine.

    Reply

    • Thank you Sandra, and you’re right, that blood wasn’t from the fall. I just love mysteries! 😉 Thank you so much for the read and comment.

      Reply

  13. Wow–got me with a double-whammy. Just as I’m pulled in, I learn it’s paintball THEN the twist at the end grabs me when I realize there was a “real” shot. Nicely done. Wonderful, unexpected twists–love it!

    Thanks for visiting my site–I appreciated it.

    Reply

    • Glad you enjoyed it, i enjoy twists myself, I guess that’s why i use them so often. Thank you for the visit and comment.

      Reply

  14. Paint ball. Nice twist. Good story.

    Reply

  15. Miraculous…was providence on hand to safe her from the horde? Really imaginative.

    Reply

  16. Dear Judee,

    I think you just wanted to shoot somebody.

    Like most of your readers, I’m curious about the rest of the story. Who is playing dirty and why? Maybe another Friday you could satisfy our curiosity.

    (Hey! We just had an decent sized earthquake here. Headed to USGS to see how big and where.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Reply

    • Ha, actually I can think of a couple of somebodys I’d like to shoot. 😉 Maybe we both had shooting in mind. Thanks for the read and comment, and I hope the Earthquake wasn’t too bad.

      Reply

  17. Double twist. Nice way to play your readers. I can always appreciate a surprise like this…Now I have to know who did it – who was playing dirty.

    ~Susan (ps – I fixed your comment – no worries!)

    Reply

    • WEll, that’s a mystery, isn’t it? 😉 Thanks for dropping by, and also for fixing that link. Happy to see you.

      Reply

  18. Posted by Lora Mitchell on March 24, 2012 at 17:44

    Whew…relieved to learn they are playing that “Paint Ball” game but why is she bleeding? A real bullet wound? Then someone in the group isn’t playing nice. What a surprising twist.!! Here’s mine:
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    Reply

  19. On edge with a twist to another edge. Very cool. I was initially unsettled, then relieved, then unsettled…very effective.

    Reply

  20. This story definitely came from that photo… I wondered if Amanda was an animal they were hunting at first. Paint ball… nice twist. From fear to relief at a game. Poor Amanda… very clever.

    http://tedstrutz.com/2012/03/24/friday-flash-fictioneers-bang/

    Reply

  21. Shocking and imaginative. Need to know: was she shot by a real bullet? Here’s mine: http://furiousfictions.com

    Reply

    • Yep, at least, that’s what i was hoping to convey – a few more words might have made it clearer, but that’s the fun of tightening it up, it leaves some things open to question. Thanks for the visit. 🙂

      Reply

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