Friday Fictioneers: Jan 27, 2012

Madison Woods presents a kind of flash fiction challenge on Fridays, a picture prompt to get you writing in 100 words or less. Who can resist such a challenge?

You can find the rules here: Friday Fictioneers

This weeks picture prompt, (click for bigger view) and my result, exactly 100 words –

“Uh oh.”

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Uh oh. He was in big trouble.

Tommy stood to the side, head down, pondering what to do next. With a few quick glances, he assessed the situation. There was that big guy with the cap.  He looked kinda mad. Maybe he would argue with the conductor and Tommy could slip away.  The conductor had his back turned. He was helping an old lady off.  Tommy’s feet itched to run. But they wouldn’t move.

A kid, a big guy, and an old lady – what strange company.  At least he wasn’t the only one without a ticket.

Big trouble. Yup.

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That was fun, thank you Madison!

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17 responses to this post.

  1. When I started using public transport the first time as a kid, I used to have all kinds of strange fears and anxieties… this just reminded me of them..
    good one! 🙂

    Here’s my late entry: http://faitaccompli.wordpress.com/2012/01/30/grow-up-now/

    Reply

  2. Awww…the people getting kicked off the train 😦

    I really enjoyed he approach to this story. Well done.

    The link to my drabble is here: http://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/grounds/

    Reply

  3. I just want to say thank you to all who commented. Nice of you to drop by!

    Reply

  4. Yup. You caught the expression and personality of the boy perfectly!

    Reply

  5. A very good take on the prompt. Get off my train! You captured the moment well.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Here’s a link to mine. ‘Pastoral’. http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/

    Reply

  6. Posted by Madison Woods on January 28, 2012 at 04:30

    Cute story! I liked the image of all three of them being pulled off the train because they didn’t have tickets.

    I’m glad you joined us today and hope to see you back again next week 🙂

    Reply

  7. That was a fun take on the picture. I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.

    ~Susan (Here’s mine: http://www.susanwenzel.com/)

    Reply

  8. A story written with a nice light touch, often not achieved in these little stories. Very nice.

    Reply

  9. Another charming story – misadventure on the train!

    Reply

  10. That was fun. Nice job.

    Here’s mine:
    http://wp.me/p1Tjpv-8I

    Reply

  11. Great! That looks exactly like what that little boy is thinking!
    Here’s my Friday bit:

    http://kbnelson.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/friday-flash-drip/

    Reply

  12. Great job of getting into a child-like POV. Good story!
    Here’s mine: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

    Reply

  13. Nice! I really felt for the kid. Great use of the prompt!

    Here is mine. You are welcome to leave a link in my comment section as well.

    http://susielindau.com/2012/01/27/just-another-day-100-word-flash-fiction/

    Reply

  14. This is great. I really enjoyed your writing.

    Reply

  15. Wouldn’t it be nice if sometimes we just let things like that go? Kids shouldn’t need tickets anyway.

    Reply

  16. A clever ending.
    What a mixture of people travelling without a ticket.
    I think the young lad is glad he’s not alone.

    Reply

  17. Aw, poor kid! I liked the last line – what’s the old lady doing with no ticket? I bet she doesn’t get in as much trouble as the kid. Old ladies always get away with things like that!!

    Reply

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